All weekend I looked for postings from the “Where is Raed?” blog.

He is finally back. I was relieved to see his words and tuned in. His account of the war is gripping. The saddness of what is going on is just starting to penetrate my thinking.

Big thanks to the people at Blogger who are keeping this site up for us.

Then, Gemini that I am, I read Slate’s war coverage by Nate Thayer, and there is a part of me that wants to be there. A very small part. The writer, adventurer, and some may call the drama queen part of me. It reminds me of when I was in college during the Gulf War and told my family I was going to enlist. My navy wife grandmother put their foot down and said “No way, if you’re going in, you’ll go in as an officer. Graduate first.” I talked to my dad next, and he had said that the war would be over before I got through basic training, so not to bother.

Nate’s writing, coverage is different from the Raed blog, but I’m enthralled by his experience. And the fact that he is teamed up with a woman in his story makes me all the more interested.

What’s missing in me that I can be sucked in by the heat of this writing, want to write like that, yet not go for it? Lack of motivation, lack of courage, lack of obsession (it takes obsession to be successful in anything, right?), common sense, attachment to loved ones, desire to have children, hatred for sit ups, push ups and all things physical that would be requried to get to this point…

No doubt some will read this and think I’m crazy for even uttering it. But I like being moved. Love it really. And Nate’s piece moved me to wanting to be there with him. Even if this whole entire situation is horrific.

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