Sorry I didn’t get these out last Friday. Or two days ago, for that matter.
Current Location: Truckee, California (Lake Tahoe), now Redwood City, CA
Current Weather: 30F, -1C
Number of things I’m doing at the same time this very minute: 4 (running the dish washer, eating lunch, checking email, blogging, and listening to the LSU v. Iowa and Rose Bowl games on TV)
One thing that I better start doing ASAP: editing your stories
Current Reads: your stories and submissions to The Thong Also Rises
Movies: National Treasure (2nd time because of kids), Meet the Fockers, Spanglish
Pitches: TIME asked for one, I pitched 6
Assignments: 1
Hours spent on finding pitches vs. work on small blurb: 5:4
Biggest challenge: changing mouse hands so my right hand hurts less
Money won play craps: $276
Money lost playing poker at Viejas: $100
Number of men to flirt with that distracted me from playing better: 2
Money won playing poker with the family: $5
Money won playing poker with friends:$5
Number of Big Lebowski (my fave drink not the movie) converts I made this weekend: 1
Number of Big Leblowskis (white russians if you’re still lost) he drank vs. I drank: 8:5 (as of when I started writing this)
Number of men I saw wearing a shirt that matched his wife’s get into an outhouse on the side of the road and nearly tip the thing over when he sat down: 1
Number of men I saw try to get their Dachsund to take a poop in the snow: 1
Number of other random people I saw take a pee on the side of the road: 2
Most laughable thing I saw besides all the people taking potty breaks on the side of the road: A white stretch limo with golden snow chains on the tires
Media news: Sand in My Bra was the #1 bestseller for the biggest indie store in Tucson, AZ (Week ending Dec 19) We even beat out The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Presents America. (Thanks Reader’s Oasis!)
Where I’ll be for the next few months: Bay Area
Job: Back and Travelers’ Tales to help them with moving the office down to Palo Alto
My week in review:
Semi-well-maybe-check-back-with-us assignments received: 2
Hey-that’s-a great-story-idea-send-it-in-and-we’ll-ignore-it assignments received: 2
Come-in-and-do-a-public-reading-no-wait-maybe-we-don’t-have-time-for-you invitations received: 1
Stories to be published in a magazine I’ve never heard of or seen: 2
Chance I’ll never hear of or see payment for said stories: 50%
Currently reading: “Around the World in a Bad Mood,” a 1976 Asian travelogue
Thinking of writing: “Sitting in my Cubicle in a Bad Mood,” a 2005 Milpitas sit-alogue
Number of parlor games played over holidays: 5
Favorite Game: Hungry Hungry Hippos
Thinking of Creating: Apathetic Apathetic Aphids
Inspiration for my game: Khaki-clad coworkers wandering around building
Number of coffees I drink to make me think aphids are funny: 3
Number of coffees I drink to make me think coworkers are funny: 6
Number of coffees before I start talking to my mouse pad: 9
My mouse pad starts talking back at: 12 coffees
Arnold, you are, as always, the funniest. I’ll have to start making stuff up as opposed to drawing from real life observances. I know, I know, yours are pretty much real life. At least you’re getting your writing pitched. That’s something.
Any 2005 resolutions?