I was presented with a rare gift last week. A new friend called me out. Not out to gamble, not out for drinks. He called me out with my writing. He opened my eyes to what I’m currently doing, or not doing, and he challenged me to be more. It was not an easy conversation to partake in, and believe me when I say it was a conversation—not a lecture. The tone was encouraging, motivational. Anthony Robbins without the sugar coating.
I’m still wrapping my head around it. Still coming to terms with how to take the next step. But the one thing I do know, is that these moments are unique, and it’s best to recognize them when they come. These people that come into your life, sometimes randomly, sometimes accidentally, they’re not really happen·stance. They are messengers. But what we do with it is up to us. Have you ever been called out? How did you handle it? I’m curious….
One of the things I do is to mark my progress by my birthday. I never want to be in the same space I was at my last birthday. I always want to make sure that I’ve accomplished more, have grown more, and developed on some level by a measurable amount from the last birthday. Sometimes it’s quantifiable, sometimes it’s internal.
But with writing, it’s different. The obvious, and much remarked, next step for me is to write a book. Not edit one, write one. And I am living in the middle of so many books and stories, the opportunities are overwhelming. So, where to start? It is absolutely and completely possible to get off your lazy ass (and me mine) and step up to the plate. I liked Kelly’s Peace Corps links the other day about writing a novel in 100 days. It doesn’t *have* to be a novel, you know.
Anyway, I have lots to chew on. Who’s doing the same? Lets gab.
Jen,
Hi, I just started reading your blog and I love it.
Yes, I’ve been called out but not by a friend, but by myself. I started freelance writing in January and for every rejection letter I received, I pouted for a few days and questioned my choosen profession.
One day I received a Travel & Leisure magazine and on the cover was a feature story with one of my ideas. If I had not been sulking, maybe my name could have been on the byline not someone else’s. It was obviously a good idea, if they had it on the cover, so what was I waiting for? I realized I wasn’t doing enough to advance my career.
I’m my own best friend and nobody is better at calling me out than myself. Since that day, my acceptance ratio has increased to about 85%.
I hope this helps.
Take care,
Terah
Terah, thanks for joining the Written Road community and for shouting out! I hope that we can provide you with some market leads or some inspiration for the next step in your own writing growth.
I’m quite lucky. I have several people that believe in me, and are of constant support of various natures. And when I mentioned this particular incident, I don’t mean to negate any of the other conversations I’ve had with other friends on the same topic. It’s just that this one made an impact, while others have mostly gone in one ear and onto the guilt box. This one moved me.
The thing is…I’m leading a very full life. I view my opportunities not so much as obstacles to overcome as I do challenges in prioritizing. I have lots of difficulty prioritizing because I am so damn excited about so many different things. And above that, I try to put the people I care about in my life, above all the rest.
So, we’ll see how I move forward over the next six months. It will be very interesting to see where writing fits in. One person once told me, “Maybe you weren’t meant to be a writer….” I hated hearing it at the time, but hey, maybe she was right. On the other hand of that talk was other advice to prioritize by the returns I get. And that is also something to think about as I thin the paint.
The bottom line, in my humble opinion, is doing what “feels right and good”. Jen, I think a ton of things feel right and good for you. And if you’re happy way down deep, well, what else is there?
Your words, “I’m my own best friend and nobody is better at calling me out than myself. Since that day, my acceptance ratio has increased to about 85%,” are beautiful, Terah. Well said and well to live by!
Hey Jen,
I had a similar experience, but I wasn’t called out per se. I met a woman who works for a travel magazine, and while we were talking, she made a few comments about travel writing. Some were in the form of advice, some were mere observations, some were applied to me specifically. She never lectured, and some of what she said was advice I’d heard dozens of times before. And maybe it was the way she said it, or the frame of mind I was in at the time, or just having it come from someone who’s where she is now because she’s followed her own advice, but it stuck with me, and has helped keep me motivated and more focused. As a result, I’ve been writing more as well as writing more consistently. Even now, when things in my life are more chaotic than ever, I write.
Anyway, it’s nice to have this sort-of wake-up call, to have advice come your way and have it sink in, have it click in a way that sticks with you. And to think it all started when a few friends asked me if I could put up a friend who was moving here from New Orleans. I was reluctant at first, but in the end, it paid off more than I would’ve imagined. Remind me to thank the people who sent her my way…
Jen,
A few weeks ago I went to a reading by Esmerleda Santiago. The State Department has this great program that brings writers and artists around the world to do classes and give lectures. She was in Almaty, Kazakhstan and I had the opportunity to listen to her talk about her life as a writer.
After the lecture, I introduced myself and told her that for the last two years I’ve been freelancing. I told her I was also returning to the States in the fall.
“To do what?” she asked.
“Finish law school.” I had taken two years off to move to Central Asia, work and write.
She looked at me with suspicious eyes and said something to the extent that every hour spent studying law would be one spent not writing.
I’ve heard this alot and I know it is true – in a way it was a call out — and by someone I didn’t even know. The thing is, we all have our priorities and only we can decide whether someone else’s advice is worth taking or not. I love to write — but I also love the law and hope to one day be able to combine those two passions. So it is for me to decide what path to travel. And while other’s words can be helpful or insightful, only you know you.
Jess
Jen- Thanks for the inspiration! Very cool– happy for you and for all of us that are looking deeper at our lives and choosing powerfully what we really want, whether it is writing, the law, gambling and/or surfing. Going to a weekend course in Iowa in a few weeks and am very excited about it!
Joanna
Jen- Thanks for the inspiration! Very cool– happy for you and for all of us that are looking deeper at our lives and choosing powerfully what we really want, whether it is writing, the law, gambling and/or surfing. Going to a weekend course in Iowa in a few weeks and am very excited about it!
Joanna
Hi Jessica, The two can be combined. I am a CPA, I write tax related articles and also travel related articles. Well, after qualifying, I became a financial journalist, moved in and out of a Big 4 am back to being a CA, but I continue writing off and on. So go for law colleage…and dont give up writing.
Check my blog, to see how writing can be combined: https://writerscyberslate.blogspot.com/
Both tax realated and travel related articles are up there.
Jen:
This comment has nothing to do with your actual post — mainly because I have yet to be called out by anyone but me, and am still trying to learn how to argue with myself without getting frustrated and kicking my own ass.
BUT, I did want to tell you that I ran across a copy of “Sand In My Bra” in Southern Laos, and have been hoarding it in a corner of my pack to read in hard times, or for a pick me up. Well, the time came in Phnom Pehn and it worked like a charm. I’ve passed it on to another traveler now, though it was hard to let go of my ‘lucky charm’.
Toodles!
PETE.
Jen:
This comment has nothing to do with your actual post — mainly because I have yet to be called out by anyone but me, and am still trying to learn how to argue with myself without getting frustrated and kicking my own ass.
BUT, I did want to tell you that I ran across a copy of “Sand In My Bra” in Southern Laos, and have been hoarding it in a corner of my pack to read in hard times, or for a pick me up. Well, the time came in Phnom Pehn and it worked like a charm. I’ve passed it on to another traveler now, though it was hard to let go of my ‘lucky charm’.
Toodles!
PETE.
If any business thrives on word of mouth it must be the tourist industry. You go on vacation, send a few postcards, come home, tell your friends about it and then show the video footage to anybody who loves you.